The moment I found out I was pregnant

December 22, 2011 in Mums tips


creative commons photo by Esparta on flickr

How did you imagine it would play out the first time you found out you were pregnant? I bet you were the same as me, expecting that it would be a fantastic feeling  - you’d be with your partner and you’d be so excited and giddy and it would be this perfect moment that you would treasure forever?

Well, how different reality is, huh?! My partner and I had tried for months to get pregnant and after the first six, I started doing the ovulation tests. Every month my body played tricks on me, being later and later and building up my hope so I’d buy an overpriced pregnancy kit and it would be negative.

In all honesty, nine months down the line I was getting sick and tired of weeing on sticks, I just wanted the day to come that I would find out I was pregnant. It got harder and harder for me to be elated when anyone I knew announced their pregnancy because selfishly I just wanted it to be me.

Now, you’re probably all shouting at me right now and saying that nine months is nothing – well in hindsight it’s not and I know people who have waited years or have had miscarriages or still births, so I realise how lucky I am, but that’s how I felt at that point in time.

In the November after thinking it wasn’t going to happen and I wouldn’t really try I’d just take my vitamins and folic acid and hope for the best over Christmas, we got a kitten. It was my way of saying ‘look – I can have a baby!’ Christmas came and went and I didn’t really know where I was at with my ovulation tests. We had a great time at new year and then the later and later it got in January I thought I should probably do a test and hey presto… it was negative! Another month, another disappointment.

It got later and later and my partner encouraged me to do another test. I reluctantly did one and remember going in to the bathroom, weeing on the stick – I must admit my aim was getting good at this point! I left it on the bath side, walked out and said, “told you, it’s negative again” He went in and looked and said, just leave it longer, see what happens I really think this is it, so I walked out and made a cup of tea and waited for more disappointment. I’d like to say at this point that usually I try and see the positives in everything believe it or not. Anyway, I went back in and there it was, it was positive…

All the giddy, snugly, fairytale moment went and I was just left stunned and said, “Well, there we go then, we’re pregnant – what do we do now?”

That was 14 months ago and my gorgeous little girl was well worth the wait and the months of disappointment, I’m just thankful that I didn’t have to wait as long as some couples have to and that I had a perfect little baby at the end of it all.

Next time, I don’t think I’ll place any emphasis on ‘the moment’ being a great, running through the fields, being caught by my beloved type of scenario, I’ll just stick to the harsh reality of weeing on a stick and waiting impatiently.