Guest post from Dad Paul Glavin – Fed up being marginalized

April 4, 2011 in Mums tips

I think I finally understand how women feel when they take their car into the garage to fix a problem, being spoken to as if you are technically inept without a thought to how that makes you feel.


We didn’t have an easy ride to get to where we are now, little Haydn is the fruits of our third attempt, through every pregnancy I’ve always shown an interest, I’ve read as much as I can, asked questions where I can and tried to understand as much of what is, to me, a little miracle. Yet every time I’d sit down with Cassandra through the check-ups, the midwife visits or the ante-natal classes, I was treated like a thuggish oik, or an inconvenience.


Mum was always consulted, asked for questions, consulted and for some strange reason, treated like they were interested. I wonder if it ever occurs to our health services that sometimes, just sometimes, the Dad cares too.


We spent last Saturday morning in A&E, Haydn was having an allergic reaction to something, looking back on it now, it was a mild reaction, but at the time it seemed anything but to me!


On arrival at Frimley Park A&E we approached the desk and Mum was asked what the problem was, Mum dutifully explained and we were directed to the Children’s A&E.

We were then seen by Triage, Mum was again asked what the problem was, and again it was explained. A quick dose of Pir

Father and son 27

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otin from the triage nurse and a short wait had us being seen by the consultant. Yet again Mum was asked to explain.


Now excuse me, but we’re a family. I love my son to bits, I do as much as I can in my own special way. We both raise Haydn, we both were there and we both should have been asked.


So, once I’ve calmed down, stopped getting worked up over being ignored again by Health professionals, I then ask myself why does it happen. Why is it assumed that most blokes would prefer to be at football or in the pub. I understand that not every man is as interested as me, some would prefer to be in the pub, I actually would have preferred to have been at our swimming lesson than in A&E but I can’t always get it my own way.


Ladies, Doctors and other Health Professionals, don’t tar us all with the same brush. There are a large number of Dad’s out there that do care and do want to be included in the upbringing of our children, please don’t leave Dad in the corner!


Paul Glavin is owner of Paul Glavin photography ( , a soppy, loving husband and a devoted Dad. He’s trying to blog more at ,can be found on facebook ( twitter (


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