Confessions of a lazy mum – introducing Consuela


“Hi, my name is Consuela and I’m a lazy mum.  I hate the fact that I’m a lazy mum and want to do something about it….”

“Hi Consuela! Welcome to L.M.A. – Lazy Mums Anonymous.”

Everyone says “Hi Consuela!”

“Tell us about yourself…”

“Well I’m a single mum with 2 kids. They’re great kids, but oh they are lazy. They do practically nothing to help out. We’ve even got to the point at times of having to get my daughter to sniff the pants on her bedroom floor because we can’t tell which are clean and which are dirty – at least there aren’t any skid marks eh?  My son is almost as bad.  If I do iron his clothes and put them on hangers, I go up the next day and they need ironing again.  I mean, what’s that about?? I’m a lazy mum and I’ve bred lazy kids…. please L.M.A. help me!”

Everyone claps.

Actually, this could be real life for me! (OK, it is! Well apart from there being no such thing as L.M.A. yet….)

So how have I come to this? And why do I want to change?  With a catch phrase of “there aren’t enough hours in the day” I feel that the time has come to make the time. Oh but I am so tired all the time, how on earth am I going to start. Goodness this does actually feel like detoxing or something.

a pile of laundry 5

Image by ANOXLOU via Flickr

I have a constant pile of laundry to sort out that clutters up the kitchen.  It’s mostly stuff that needs ironing and just putting away.  But why don’t I just do it? Last night I somehow found the energy to iron 5 white shirts and 2 pairs of trousers for my son and 3 tops, 1 pair of trousers and a pleated (yes, the dreaded pleated) pinafore for my daughter.  I put it all on hangers so all it needs is to be put into their respective wardrobes.  I’ll do that later though….  And this morning I’ve sorted through and now have a pile about 2ft high of clothes for my daughter and a smaller pile for my son to just be put away in drawers.  Yet still the laundry basket is overflowing. It’s like a demon in the corner of the room that stares at me, menacingly. I hate it!

And that’s just the absolute tip of the iceberg. Oh what an appropriate word to use, “tip”. This could describe their bedrooms well.  I am tired of the number of times I’ve cajoled them into tidying their rooms, often with lots of help from me. Yet 2 days later, if I’m lucky, we’re back to tipsville! WAHHH! Now, I know that I am not the best role model – far from it, as a “crafter” I have constant clutter (important clutter I hasten to add) in the living room.  Even now, the dining table is barely visible under moun

ds of Christmas decoration making bits and pieces. Oh and several polystyrene shapes that my darling daughter has “made” into a house for her Barbie dolls.

Please don’t get me wrong, I have good intentions, just not the energy to go around constantly tidying up after them.  It is exhausting!

It’s OK Consuela, you’re among friends now….we are here to help you.  Have a good week and we’ll see you next time to see how you’re getting on.

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  • Morag Gaherty

    Oh, Consuela, LMA really SHOULD exist for the likes of us. Let’s set it up and see if we can make it as successful as Facebook within the year. No? Too lazy for that? Me too.

    I know exactly what you mean. I have been phobic about the children’s rooms for a long time as well. The trouble is, I don’t suffer from any “keep up with the Joneses” which would force me to make some effort. So much so that I’m sitting in my living room looking at the vacuum cleaner in the middle of the floor which I deposited there weeks ago. I just haven’t been bothered to move it. I just step over it.

    What I should do is invite a friend over whose opinion matters to me, which would make me take a bit of effort to at least hide my slobbish ways. But it has to be someone who will sit there and watch me tidy frantically, not join in. I can’t BEAR those whirlwind friends who “sort” everything out for you in minutes, because I’m also very particular about how the dishwasher is loaded and the clothes are put out to dry.

    I’ve even considered buying a second dishwasher, because the dirty plates stack up while I’m too lazy to empty the clean stuff from the dishwasher, even though they have been there for a couple of days.

    Help!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :)

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  • Sarah Arrow

    I have found Consuela there are useful things that prevent the need for ironing. M&S make pinafores that are teflon coated and don’t need ironing. slightly more expensive but I feel like I am saving the planet from not having to iron and waste electricity. they do non iron shirts too. In fact I can’t recall the last time I ironed school uniform, it must have been when I was a kids and my lazy ass mother wouldn’t do it ;)

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